• Traumatic events destroy the sustaining bonds between individual and community.
  • Those who have survived learn that their sense of self, of worth, of humanity, depends upon a feeling of connection with others.
  • The solidarity of a group provides the strongest protection against terror and despair, and the strongest antidote to traumatic experience.
  • Trauma isolates; the group re-creates a sense of belonging.
  • Trauma shames and stigmatizes; the group bears witness and affirms.
  • Trauma degrades the victim; the group exalts her.
  • Trauma dehumanizes the victim; the group restores her humanity.
  • Repeatedly in the testimony of survivors there comes a moment when a sense of connection is restored by another person’s unaffected display of generosity.

Compassionate action has to start with ourselves. It is unconditional compassion for ourselves that leads naturally to unconditional compassion for others. If we are willing to stand fully in our own shoes and never give up on ourselves, then we will be able to put ourselves in the shoes of others and never give up on them.

Pena Chadron

Don’t judge yourself by what others did to you.

C. Kennedy, Omorphi

Bullying is killing our kids. Being different is killing our kids and the kids who are bullying are dying inside. We have to save our kids whether they are bullied or they are bullying. They are all in pain.

Cat Cora

Woman must not accept; she must challenge.
She must not be awed by that which has been built up around her;
she must reverence that woman in her which struggles for expression.

Margaret Sanger

If we don’t change, we don’t grow.
If we don’t grow, we are not really living.
Growth demands a temporary surrender of security.

Gail Sheehy

There is power and strength alone in knowing your price and who you were created to be. Virtuous, worthy, capable….more precious than jewels.

Far Above Rubies~ Proverbs 31:10 Felisha D. McCaskill

Effects of Abuse and Programs

  • Individuals who have experienced domestic violence are in the process of healing both physically and emotionally.
  • The trauma from abuse can cause effect on the mind, body, and spirit.
  • People who are exposed to abuse experience physical, mental and or spiritual changes.
  • The affected changes can worsen if they are not addressed.
  • The trauma of abuse and domestic violence can stay with you long after you’ve escaped the abusive situation.
  • The first step towards the healing process is recognizing and embarking on a way to get restored and healed.
  • Herman, J. L. (n.d.). Quotes About Abuse Survivors. Retrieved March 12, 2016
    (Types of Abuse, 2015)

The trauma of abuse and domestic violence can stay with you long after you’ve escaped the abusive situation. Far Above Rubies services and programs are geared towards long-term effects of abuse to support survivors. Counseling, mentoring, therapy, and support groups are extremely important to your healing process.

Our Programs

  • Counseling And Mentoring
  • Housing Counseling
  • Therapeutic Services
  • Financial Literacy
  • Referral Services

Take a step today towards your healing process by contacting
Far Above Rubies, Inc. at 888-697-3332 or email us at

Long and Short Term Effects
Child Abuse

Child abuse is domestic violence. Children who live in a home where there is violence are known to be significantly more at risk of being the victims of physical, sexual and psychological abuse and neglect than any other children.

  • Inability to concentrate or engage appropriately in learning or play activities
  • Become withdrawn, uncommunicative, isolated
  • Find it difficult to form attachments and maintain good relationships with adults and other children
  • Trouble sleeping, or settling down
  • Show disruptive behaviours – tantrums, bullying, aggression
  • Excessive fears, shyness
  • Unhappiness, worries, anxious
  • Demand excessive attention
  • Physical or emotional neglect
  • Be unable to confide in or trust other adults
  • Physical, emotional, psychological harm

Verbal Abuse

  • Degrading you in front of friends and family,
  • Telling hurtful “jokes” despite your requests to stop,
  • Taking your statements out of context,
  • Name calling,
  • Yelling,
  • Insulting,
  • Humiliation,
  • Criticizing,
  • Blaming,
  • Accusing,
  • Questioning your sanity.

Sexual Abuse

  • Unwanted touching
  • Demanding sex
  • Forcing sex
  • Name-calling with sexual epithets
  • Demanding sex after a violent incident
  • Forcing you to engage in prostitution or pornography
  • Forcing you to have sex with others besides your partner
  • Insisting on anything sexual that frightens or hurts you
  • Refusing to use safe sex practices
  • Preventing you from using birth control
  • Controlling your decisions about pregnancy and/or abortion
  • Withholding sex as a form of control
  • Videotaping or photographing sexual acts and posting it without your permission
  • Alleging that you have a history of prostitution on legal papers
  • Telling you that “as a matter of law” in the United States that you must continue to have sex with him whenever he wants until you are divorced.

Emotional Abuse

  • Do you feel that something is wrong with your relationship, but you don’t know how to describe it?
  • Do you feel that your partner controls your life?
  • Do you feel that your partner does not value your thoughts or feelings?
  • Will your partner do anything to win an argument, such as put you down, threaten or intimidate you?
  • Does your partner get angry and jealous if you talk to someone else? Are you accused of having affairs?
  • Do you feel that you cannot do anything right in your partner’s eyes?
  • Are you told that no one else would want you, or that you are lucky your partner takes care of you?
  • Do you have to account for every moment of your time?
  • When you try to talk to your partner about problems, are you called names such as bitch or nag?
  • Does your partner prevent you from going to work or school, or from learning English?
  • If you wish to spend money, does your partner make you account for every penny, or say you don’t deserve anything?
  • Does your partner

Effects of Bullying

Kids who are bullied can experience negative physical, school, and mental health issues. Kids who are bullied are more likely to experience:

  • Depression and anxiety, increased feelings of sadness and loneliness, changes in sleep and eating patterns, and loss of interest in activities they used to enjoy. These issues may persist into adulthood.
  • Health complaints
  • Decreased academic achievement—GPA and standardized test scores—and school participation. They are more likely to miss, skip, or drop out of school.

A very small number of bullied children might retaliate through extremely violent measures. In 12 of 15 school shooting cases in the 1990s, the shooters had a history of being bullied.

Home | (n.d.). Retrieved March 25, 2016, from

Physical Abuse

  • Pushing
  • Pinching or biting,
  • Slapping, beating, or kicking,
  • Choking,
  • Backing you into a corner,
  • Throwing objects,
  • Pulling your hair,
  • Holding you captive,
  • Breaking down a door to get to you,
  • Preventing you from eating or sleeping,
  • Locking you out of the house,
  • Forcing your car off the road,
  • Abandoning you in dangerous places,
  • Keeping you from getting medical care,
  • Spitting on you,
  • Using or threatening to use a weapon against you,
  • Driving at unsafe speeds to intimidate you,
  • Refusing to help you when you are sick, injured, or pregnant,
  • Withholding medications or medical treatment,
  • Animal cruelty towards pets,
  • Stalking.

Financial Abuse

  • Preventing you from having or keeping a job
  • Interfering with your efforts to maintain a job by sabotaging childcare, transportation, or other arrangements
  • Harassing you at work
  • Refusing to work
  • Not including you in family financial decisions
  • Not allowing you access to the family finances
  • Making you ask for money
  • Taking your money
  • Demanding an account of everything you buy
  • Controlling your access to financial information
  • Not allowing you to talk to others about money
  • Not allowing your name to be on accounts, which would allow you to build credit
  • Forcing you to put your name on accounts and then destroying your credit
  • Making fun of your financial contribution and saying it is not worth anything
  • Expecting you to behave in a certain way because you make less money or are not the “breadwinner”

Psychological Abuse

  • Breaking promises, not following through on agreements, or not taking fair share of responsibility.
  • Isolating you from family and friends.
  • Controlling what you do, who you talk to, and where you go.
  • Making threats against you.
  • Attacking your vulnerabilities, such as your language abilities, educational level, skills as a parent, religious and cultural beliefs, or physical appearance.
  • Playing mind games, such undercutting your sense of reality.
  • Forcing you to do degrading things.
  • Ignoring your feelings.
  • Regularly threatening to leave or telling you to leave.
  • Harassing you about affairs your partner imagines you to be having.
  • Always claiming to be right.
  • Being unfaithful after committing to monogamy.

South Carolina Worst State for Domestic Violence Deaths ~ More videos~

Speak up!

What Are You Doing To Help Restore and Empower Those Who Have Suffered From Abuse?

On average, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States. During one year, this equates to more than 10 million women and men.

Statistics. (n.d.). Retrieved March 12, 2016, from

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You Deserve To Not Only Survive But Thrive

Some may ask, "How do I begin to thrive?" It all begins by cultivating your heart in knowing who God created you to be. For your price is Far Above Rubies. Though you may have experienced the most traumatic situation in your life you are still worth more than rubies. You survived the storm and you deserve to thrive by getting the proper longterm healing through counselors, support groups, workshop leaders and trusted guides. You are worth it.

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